The new year is almost here!

I'm ALWAYS excited about an upcoming NEW YEAR! For me it just wipes the slate clean and everyone gets another chance to do it all RIGHT!! :) As I said in my most recent post, I'm going to try (again) to blog every day starting on January 1, 2008, even if it's just a picture I took that day...... well, I may end up using another picture if it's more appropriate for what I'm saying on that day, but at least there should be SOMETHING to read or look at here EVERY DAY!!

I quit making resolutions a long time ago. Now I make little promises that have no consequences if I don't keep them......meaning they don't hurt anybody, except maybe me. I try not to make myself feel guilty though. I have enough of that in my life. I'm trying to forgive myself for choices I made back in 1981 for cripes sake! Don't need any NEW guilt!

Ok, so how do I sum up 2007? Wow, I'm just glad I got through it. Nothing exceptional about business, that's for sure. I may have had a little media coverage, but nothing huge. My biggest surge in subscribers was when someone posted my site on a MSN health message board....over 400 new subscribers! That was fantastic! I wish someone would do that at least once a month!

I guess the biggest issue "I got through" was having my middle son living here with me since October 2006! It was an opportunity for me to redeem myself as a mother and help one of my kids when they needed it most, but I have a hard time setting boundaries and it's gone past where I had hoped it would end. I love him dearly, but I don't agree with the decisions he continues to make and I'm not standing up for what I believe in, so basically it's MY problem and I need to deal with it. On the other hand, it's not just me. I can name 4 of my closest friends or relatives who also have a 30 something adult child living with them! It seems to be something of a trend with this generation. Or is it OUR generation, the babyboomers? Are we all trying to "make up" for something we did as our children were growing up? This is a topic I don't feel qualified to write about in depth.

I'll just head into 2008 with the hope that we'll all become stronger and more loving and more forgiving. and things WILL be better!

Whew! Made it!

Well, that's another year I made it through! Sometimes you look back and wonder how you did it. There were some family crisis's (not sure how to spell that) and a full year of worrying about my business (http://www.minniepauz.com/), my weight and my dental issues, along with the war, the economy, the planet and it's most innocent inhabitants.

Anyway, I hope 2008 is better for all of us! New year, new promises to blog every day....even if it's just to log the day with a photo. Actually what I should do is take one every day....hmmmmm. I still haven't figured out how to get the photos where I want them here! What's today, the 28th? I've got a few days to practice! :) Ok, here's one that shows how I watched my youngest grandkids (in Dallas) open their presents on the webcam!! It was SO
wonderful...much better than trying to talk to them on the phone!

Then here's a picture of what I sent them! I leave the toys and clothes to everyone else and I usually get them something that will be used for several years (picnic table, wagon, etc). These are Bongo Bags and I didn't realize the kids actually enjoy them. My daughter-in-law told me they love to get inside and roll around, but mostly it makes them want to pick their toys up (and keep them in the Bongo Bag). The first thing one of the boys did was crawl inside! My son got a picture of it but hasn't sent it to me yet. Anyway the fingers are pointing to the Frog, the Elephant and the Alligator......

Baby boomer or Middle Aged?

I've decided I'd much rather be called a baby boomer than to be called a "middle aged woman". I guess it's because the "MAW" tag seems to put one at the tail end of the age line....more towards the dreaded "Senior" group....and the BB tag could put one anywhere between 43 and 61.

The MAW brings to mind things like menopause, midlife crisis and incontinence, where the BB title more often makes you think of free love, former pot smoker and leaders. Well, who would choose the former?

I realize it's just semantics, but there seems to be a definite difference in the FEELING (and status) of each title. How would you describe yourself? Here's how "Minnie" does it......

Shopping in China?

I'm on a rampage after all the problems with the toys made in China and since then, finding out how many of the products we use every day are made there. It's shameful!!! So I've been trying to get everyone I know to BUY USA!! I've always thought of Wal-Mart as one of the most American stores there could be, but the truth is 70% of their products are made in China. I also just joined this organization: www.wakeupwalmart.com and would encourage my readers to take a look and then take a stand.

Why you should buy from small toy shops, not Wal-Mart
The Boston Globe reports that shoppers are buying toys for their children at small stores and avoiding Wal-Mart Stores Inc. (NYSE: WMT) whose Chinese toys they fear.
One Cambridge, MA store, Stellabella Toys, has shifted its merchandise suppliers from Chinese to European and U.S. toy makers. Stellabella bought as many LEGO toys (made in Denmark) and Playmobil products (made in Germany) as possible. And it added new lines, including German stacking toys and wooden trains from Maple Landmark Woodcraft of Vermont.
More than 65% of consumers will refuse to buy toys from China this season. This hurts Wal-Mart which offers cheaper prices by importing Chinese merchandise. That's because 80% of all US toys are manufactured in China, where they are cheaper to produce. It is more likely that the Chinese toys will end up in mass merchants like Wal-Mart, which often carry large volumes of toys.

I don't know if Wal-Mart will start buying safe toys -- its purchasing volume could drive down the prices and thus bring back some of those shoppers. But in the meantime, you can check out the toys sold by small stores like Stellabella. At least it's supplying what American shoppers want -- safe toys for their families.

Will Wyeth actually pay?

Drug Maker Shares Breast Cancer Survivor's Pain
Jury Rules in Favor of Woman Who Says Wyeth Drugs Caused Breast Cancer

(and why do they make it sound like the woman "says" the drug caused the cancer? they should say it was PROVEN by doctors and scientists and then decided by a jury)

I'm telling you, I would have a difficult time deciding if the risks where worth it IF I had been given a choice back when my symptoms were so bad. By the time I understood more about menopause (through doing this website), my worst symptoms were over and most of my problems have been of the "aging" kind more than menopause. I have been advocating that every woman should be allowed to make her own decision based on her family history and her own research and beliefs.

This is what scares me and makes it so real: Wyeth must pay Prempro damages Wyeth must pay $99 million in punitive damages over its mishandling of menopause drugs that helped cause three Nevada women's cancers, a jury ruled. The panel ruled Oct. 12 that the company owed the women $35 million in compensatory damages. Jurors in state court in Reno concluded yesterday that Wyeth, the largest maker of hormone-replacement medicines, should also pay the three women punitive damages for concealing the breast-cancer risks of its Prempro and Premarin drugs. Wyeth said it would appeal. The three women's suits are among about 5,300 against Wyeth over its menopause drugs.

I don't have to make the decision about hrt....I've been without it for 17 years, but I AM faced with a similar decision regarding my psoriasis....the side effects of the medicine that would most likely clear this up (it's about 75% on my body now), are lymphoma, TB and a very weakened immune system. When I read that info above, it made the possibilities so real...these are actual women who thought they were doing the right thing

"A Nevada jury awarded Rowatt more than $42 million for her share of $99 million in punitive damages, and $35 million in compensatory damages — the largest ever judgment against the nation's leading maker of hormone replacement therapies. Rowatt followed her doctors' orders and took Premarin, and then Prempro, to ease the symptoms of menopuase for nearly eight years. "They kept telling me there may be some heart benefit, and I believed them," Rowatt said. "If you can't believe your doctor, who can you believe?" Seven years ago, Rowatt was diagnosed with breast cancer. With no family history of breast cancer, she blamed the drugs for causing the disease."

The possibility of getting emphysema or lung cancer is what made me finally stop smoking. I smoked for 43 years, knowing what kind of risk I was taking, but it wasn't until I was 57 that I realized what it could mean. Now I'm facing additional risks if I feel I have to take Humira to clear the psoriasis....plus I'm not totally convinced I'm out of the woods from the long term smoking or even from other types of cancer....with no cancer in my family (except for a few long lost cousins). I'm not sure it matters any more. What about the money? Does it make up for the risk? "[The money] really can't give me back part of my body," she said. "The chemotherapy I had to endure is terrible." (she was awarded a total of $140+ million) She'll probably never see it but I'm sure it feels like a victory, just the same. What do you think?

Dee

Hormones out of whack? It may be your thyroid!

I wish Oprah's show had covered more about the thyroid instead of so much of Dr. Northrup's holistic views. Although I do believe in the connection of your soul and heart to your health, I also feel we need more specific info when it comes to this issue which can be found on her website. Thyroid problems can mimic menopause and with so many women going "on their own" because of all the confusion about hormone replacement, I don't believe checking out what "you've swept under the rug" is sufficient advice for making sure your hormones are in balance. What do you think?

Here's another issue someone wrote to me about today and I believe it all goes together:

The Anti-Estrogen Diet Could Change Your Life
Sylvia Hubbard Monday, Aug. 6, 2007

Plagued by a stubborn roll of belly fat that just won't disappear no matter how hard you diet? Worn down by the daily grind of life, but your doctor only issues the standard "eat less, exercise more, and get more sleep" advice?

Maybe you need to take a long hard look at the "anti-estrogenic" diet.
It's not really a diet at all in the usual sense, but more of a change in the types of foods eaten. The idea behind it, as the name suggests, is to eliminate foods high in estrogen, which create a condition called "estrogen dominance," according to Ori Hofmekler, author of The Anti-Estrogenic Diet. Read this article here

90 degree weather in October?

I don't know about you, but I'm totally disappointed in the weather Michigan is experiencing! Of course, tomorrow it will be more like fall temps, but here it is Oct. 8 and I haven't even been to the cider mill yet for some fresh cider and donuts!! I WILL go in the next week though!

Today is Columbus Day. Ok, so what? No government offices open today, but everyone else has to go to work or school. I heard on the news that there were protests out west about the US celebrating someone who really wasn't so great afterall. Another example of how far things have gone since the days when we studied about Columbus "discovering America".

I was just looking through one of the "dating" sites out there to see what's available these days. hahahah....it never seems to change. I'm still surprised about the guys who say they want to find a woman who likes sex. Just like in High School....one thing that is most important. You would think that guys in their late 50's would finally realize that women don't want to plan ahead on the sexual activities for the first date! Most of the guys don't actually say it, but you get the idea from they way they describe the first date. Oh well, I don't really think about dating much anyway these days. I've never met one guy from those sites because I always back out before it gets to that point.

I didn't have much to talk about today, but at least I posted something!! :)

Advertising to babyboomer women

I got this picture in an email for a menopause website last week and I just felt discouraged that they wouldn't take more time to find an image that more closely depicted someone my age. Here's what I put in my newsletter and then go here to see the numerous responses:

Most of you know that I don't make much of an issue out of my age (I'll be 60 in April) or the fact that I'm not the pretty young thing of my youth (I'd say until I hit about 40?), but I'm finally at the point where if someone is going to claim they are speaking to ME as a middle aged woman who is NOT a model, they really should try to use age appropriate photos so as not to send me over the edge like this one did.

I tried to let it go unnoticed, really I did, because it was in one of the fairly reliable, interesting, and as they say, "trusted" sources for menopause information, but my eyes kept going back to the smooth face on this lovely girl, the smokey, sultry eyes and that sunlit, slightly tossled mane of blond hair. I've got to be honest, I have no idea what is in the rest of the email. This really deflated my energy level today for some reason.

After nearly 11 years of running my website, I'm fully aware that the woman in the picture could very well be suffering with symptoms of peri-menopause and her looks have nothing to do with the need for information, but how do we get it through to these people who are trying to sell us something that we need to feel represented, understood and taken seriously. I may be wrong, but what do you want to bet that it's a man who put this particular email together? I really doubt if it was a woman, or if it was, it was a young woman who probably thought "this woman looks like she's wondering why she pee'd her pants as she was getting down off her horse." I just want to have the opportunity to review a product or information that is truly made for my benefit without feeling like whoever is pushing this or that, assumes they know what I need or want. And trust me, there are millions of women who feel the same as I do. Your comments are welcome.

A change is upon this website!

First of all I'm amazed that I haven't posted anything since July! I guess I just haven't found my groove yet...until today. I finally realized what makes other blogs interesting to me is that they (the people who write their blogs) just talk about themselves and the small (or big) things that happen in their everyday lives. I've been so used to trying to find the right things to say to a large audience (over 12,000 subscribers), that I found it difficult to bring things down to a more personal level.

Then it hit me....I write a monthly newsletter and constantly update my website, but I don't have a daily record of my thoughts, dreams, happenings, sorrows and rants. Yes, I knew that's what a blog is for, but I couldn't find my voice even in two blogs I started. Yes, I could (and have) posted daily on my forum, but still, it's not the same. Today, after reading a couple of really good blogs like this one and this one and this one I realized that I just needed to write about my day....each day. Simple. I've been making it too difficult all along.

I wanted to make a blog that lots of women would read, but then I didn't post very often and on top of that, I didn't tell anyone about the blog! hahahah....well, maybe I mentioned it once in the newsletter and a couple of times on the forum, but I clearly was not proud of my offering so I didn't really invite many people in. Today that has changed!

I used to switch back and forth from being "Minnie Pauz" and having the blog be an extension of her, the website and what I've been working on for over 10 years, to being "Dee" and writing about the things that irritated me or that I thought were important to all women. You know, trying to help "the cause"....mostly the "pause cause". :) I'm still going to be doing that and getting on my soap box, but now I'm more clear on what I want to say....I found my voice. I do hope readers will respond when they see something that touches them or that they relate to.

Speaking of that, I definitely hit a nerve in the latest newsletter when I mentioned the picture of a beautiful woman in an email I got for a menopause site. I will post it here, but in a different post since I want this one to be about my day TODAY, but in case I don't get it done, you can read all the responses I got here. Clearly, many women feel the same way I do about using appropriate photos or people in advertising that is directed to us.

Ok, so today (a Saturday) I'm sitting here waiting for the satellite service guy to arrive. Everything was going fine until a week ago Thursday when my office tv was only giving me half of the 8,000 channels it's suppose to show. :) No, I don't watch all of them either, but damn it, I want them to be available just in case I decide to see how many I can watch in one day!

First of all, let me explain how important the office tv is! I spend about 14 hours a day in my office, at the computer and I like to have the tv on for both noise and so I don't miss the news or my favorite talk shows, etc. Here's what my office looks like so you can see the relation of the tv to my computer:

Hey! The technician just finished so I'm feeling fully "connected" right now! :) It's a good thing since I had to miss my granddaughter's soccer game this morning waiting on the guy!

So half my day is now gone and the only thing I've accomplished is being able to watch tv while I'm on the computer! Guess I should be glad, but now it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I'm going to finish this post, add the post about from the newsletter and then pay the rest of my bills (which I do online....do you?)

I'm also going to start telling people about my blog! I hope you will leave a comment if you come across this page in your travels through the internet. I just have to make it a habit to post here each day!

Reviving some older posts from former blog

I was looking over my old blog (that really never got off the ground) and decided to transfer some of it over here where I'm making more progress towards a daily commentary! I thought this report was right on since so many of us are dealing with insomnia throughout our menopause experience.

Insomnia keeping you awake?
While new moms and pregnant women are suffering, they are not suffering the most. Yes, more pregnant and post partum women experience insomnia a few nights each week than other age groups but when it comes to sleep disorders, such as snoring, restless leg syndrome and sleep apnea, a condition characterized by difficulty breathing, post-menopausal women are having the hardest time. 50% of post-menopausal women, more than any other women’s age group, said they experienced a sleep disorder, according to the poll. Six out of ten women in this group said they battled insomnia. http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2007/03/06/couricandco/entry2540168.shtml

What kind of things do you take to help you? I've had some women write me and say they have to use sleeping pills like Ambien or Lunesta (both of these are linked to a free trial offer) and others use things like SleepyTime tea (definitely my favorite). It's more important than we initially realize to get a good night's sleep because it affects every part of our life if we don't.

Please take care of yourself and do what you have to do to get as much restful sleep as you can manage, ok?

Let me know what kind of problems you're having with sleep. I found something new that I'll be bringing to you in the near future called Dreamerz. I'll let you know in a few weeks if it's something that might help a lot of us!

Press Release for New Book!

Menopause, you can let it get you down or you can find something in it to laugh about.

That’s what Dee Adams, creator of the one of the top web sites on menopause has done with the release of her first book, “Laughing Your Way Through Menopause.”

The book offers many of the most popular cartoons featuring the character Adams created 10 years ago, Minnie Pauz, who’s adventures with hot and cold flashes, hormonal changes and general craziness caused by menopause, have appeared on http://www.minniepauz.com/, a web site that offers humor, information and the chance for menopausal women to interact.

In addition to the cartoons, the book is liberally sprinkled with humorous stories, and anecdotes contributed by Minnie Pauz fans. “I call these stories Minnie Moments.,” Adams said. “They’re sort of like senior moments, but we don’t like to use the S word.”

Adams created the minniepauz website because “I wanted to help women get a giggle out of what we are going through in midlife. When I first showed women the cartoons, everybody said they had not seen anything like them out there. My website was the first site where women could come together and talk about menopause.” Adams and her website have been featured in Time magazine, CNN, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, Forbes magazine, More magazine and numerous other media outlets, including a PBS special on women's health.

“People have been after me to do a book for 10 years,” Adams said. “I think I have a lot of readers who will like having something to hold in their hands instead of having to go to the computer to enjoy the cartoons. Women tell me that on those days when they feel blah, they need a dose of Minnie Pauz cartoons. This book gives it to them.”

“Laughing Your Way Through Menopause.” is currently available on http://www.lulu.com/content/965290 and will be later sold in bookstores and through Amazon.com.

Menopause and UTI's

I came across some info today about bladder infections (or UTI's ) and wanted to share it with you. Most of us go back to the old "cranberry juice" solution, but it's what's IN the cranberries that helps, not the sweet juice.

Here's what Dr. Mercola says: "A naturally-occurring sugar, D-Mannose is absorbed eight times slower than glucose, and is not converted to glycogen or stored in the liver*. It goes directly to the blood stream from the upper GI tract, so it's mostly filtered through the kidneys and routed to the bladder*.

Cranberry juice is NOT a good choice for promoting urinary tract health because it is high in fructose that can lead to greater health issues. The D-Mannose found in cranberries, however, is exceptional for promoting a healthy urinary tract* - and is now available in a high-quality form you can read about below!

The bladder lining is comprised of polysaccharide molecules. D-Mannose is so remarkable that its chemical structure causes it to adhere to unfriendly bacteria even more stubbornly than such bacteria sticks to human cells*.

Thus, the unfriendly bacteria preferentially attach to D-Mannose molecules, forming a compound that is expelled with urine. It's amazingly effective and many preliminary D-Mannose studies support this*.

When mannose is taken, the body redirects it to the urine, where it will start to show concentrations in the urine within 30 minutes. Once it is passed into the urine, it goes to work immediately*.

Because D-Mannose is a nutritional food substance, it is safe to use with antibiotics and will not interfere with antibiotic treatment. If you do use an antibiotic, always remember to take a high-quality, high-potency probiotic to help replace the beneficial bacteria that the antibiotic may kill.

Bird Watching time!

I'm so excited because the hummingbirds are back to Michigan, plus the Baltimore Orioles returned again this year! They won't stay all summer and I'm sure the hummingbirds won't mind because the Orioles like to feed on the h. feeders even though I have the larger o. feeder out there. This first picture is the way it's supposed to be! :) The second photo is the problem:



















I can tell you one thing though. It wasn't easy to get these photos!! My office window looks out over the my small yard so I can turn my head when I hear a unique bird call and see them on the feeders, BUT if I make a move to get closer with the camera, they take off and then it seems to take hours before they come back. Here's one of the first times I saw a hummingbird standing STILL!

Here's another photo I'll share....the best rainbow I ever saw!

Whew! I still haven't figured out how to get this all laid out the way I want, but at least it's somewhat presentable. :) I didn't mean to wait so long before posting again, but I seem to forget about the blog with all the other things I'm doing (website, newsletter, etc)

Have a great Mother's Day weekend. I'll be sending my Mother an e-card and probably a phone call, then both sons will call sometime during the day. I may have brunch with my daughter and granddaughter. It gets complicated when everyone in the family is a Mother!! :)

How to approach a birthday!

Every year I hear the same thing from friends and family....they start talking about their upcoming birthday like it was something that had never happened before! My Mother is the worst and she's 77 as of April 3! I keep wondering, has she forgotten that she says the same thing every year? "I'm not having anymore damn birthdays!!" At least she doesn't say she's "39 and holding". I get kind of tired of that one too. I think my daughter has taught her daughter to say "29 and holding". She's going to be 34 in September.

Fortunately, most of the people that I talk to are between 50 and 63 and strangely enough, they're not moaning and groaning about their age! I know it's the way our generation (the babyboomers) have taken on every segment of their lives that has prevented them from falling in that "deny your birthday, deny your existance, deny your mortality" frame of mind. All we really want to do is celebrate our one special day of the year and would really love to have our friends and family feel cheery WITH us, but NOOOOOOOO....if we mention our birthday, it sends most people off to their deep, dark thoughts about their OWN dreaded unhappy day. :(

I like it when women throw themselves a birthday party!! How cool is that and since they're in charge they can kick out anyone who is not acting like the proper 4 year old at their party! I would also kick out anyone who did not bring a gift!! That seems to be the biggest disappoint when MY birthday rolls around (coming April 27, by the way...heheheh)....how can people who KNOW it's your birthday, NOT buy you a gift???? But they do it (or DON'T do it). I can't remember the last birthday gift I received. It might have been a pair of gold earrings from my cousin, Sharon...yep, I think that was it because I said, "ahhhhh, you didn't have to do that, especially since I never even remember YOUR birthday!" I have to say though, Sharon is not one of the age appropriate ones I mentioned who are taking their birthdays gracefully...no, she's more like my Mother in that she would rather not even mention the horrible day!

This year I'm going to let it all slide....the comments, the e-cards (instead of real cards), no cake, no presents from the kids (and they're all old enough and make more money than I do, so there's no excuse), and anything else that makes April 27 seem like just another day. That's because this year I'm turning 59. You see what I'm getting at, right?

Oh, but I pity the person who doesn't make SOME kind of special effort next year!! I'll be working on becoming healthy and good looking again!!
:) No more excuses about forgetting, Sister! No more 6pm phone call from the kids saying "Happy Birthday".....and I mean literally, that's it! I have had more heartfelt greetings from my minniepauz.com subscribers who I've never even met!

So this year, from 4/27/07 to 4/27/08, I'm going to be working on myself and secretly working on everyone around me to help me make my 60th birthday the best one ever!! So that's my advice on how to approach a birthday!

1. Start a year early!

2. Tell everyone you know!

3. Write out a birthday wish list (just like a Christmas list)

4. Plan your own party (so they HAVE to show up and are obligated to bring a gift! :)

5. Let your inner kid come out!

And for those of you who have been single for a long time, even if you haven't met anyone in the last 10 years, find yourself a date for that night! Either get someone to do you a favor (like the 28 year old neighbor-with a sense of humor) or spend a few bucks to rent an escort! What better way to say, "hey, I'm still celebrating life!!"

What are some of your suggestions for making birthdays fun again?

The Secret

Well, what do you think? I totally believe it is already working in my life! There will be lots of controversy about it, but I believe anything that helps people create abundance in their life is a worthwhile effort. Why do I care if people make lots of money off the book and other merchandise? http://what-is-the-secret.blogspot.com/

I have a lot of reading to do and it's hard because I get drowsy when I read. Uh oh...I'm attracting drowsiness!! See, it's working already! :)

Let's tell real stories about how The Secret has worked for you!

Mixing menopause and business...

There are so many babyboomer women who are running their own businesses these days, so I thought it was high time for us to talk about the challenges we come up against and how we deal with them. They are certainly different than what men deal with (and many times they, the men, have a rougher time than we do), but I believe it's different than younger women starting businesses too.

I kind of "fell into" my business over 12 years ago. You can hear my story here. I didn't know diddly about running a business (and I'm not sure I know NOW by the way that my taxes look!) back then, it all "just happened". What I'm saying is, it wasn't a concious effort to start a business. I was blessed with this crazy idea for a cartoon character who suffers with every single symptom of menopause and I had at least a tiny bit of hope that maybe I could make something out of it.

10 years is a long learning curve, don't you think? People keep telling me I should be proud of what I've done, but I keep thinking I should be MUCH further along in the game. I look at other women who have started businesses at the same age and within the same niche, with the same target market and they're going gang busters! Look at the Red Hat Society or Menopause the Musical! They're HUGE and able to capitalize on their talents and on this time in their lives. I can't help but wonder what I've done wrong to not reach the same level of success.

We've all had our handicaps, like doing all that we do at a time when our bodies seem to be working against us! Just like millions of other women, we have to figure out what is best for us individually so we can cope with the stresses and complications of running a business. I feel part of the reason we are able to do it is knowing we can do anything....that's one of the benefits of being middle-aged, we gain a lot more confidence in our abilities, plus we know what we want.

One of the unexpected issues that came up after I had been in business with Minnie Pauz Enterprises for about 2 years was the competitive nature of many of these other women. At times when I thought we could help each other by partnering on projects, I saw a lot of pulling back and mistrust between business owners. It even got to the point where I quit offering to give free publicity and advertising because the other party wasn't living up to their side of the bargain. There's a lot of talk about what women can accomplish together, but in business the "sisterhood" doesn't really hold much water.

If you have a business related to women, menopause, babyboomers, let us know how you're doing it in the midst of the hot flashes, insomnia and depression. Are you going it alone or do you have a partner? Do you prefer how you're doing it? How's business? :)

Why March 18 is etched in my memory...

When everyone else is celebrating St. Patrick's day on March 17 every year, I find myself counting back how many years I would have been married to my first husband. I don't know WHY I do it, I've never regretted divorcing him, but there's always that "what if" factor. So every March 18, I figure out how many years it's been since 1967 and I say, sometimes just in my head and sometimes to one of the kids, "Today would be our 40th anniversary"!

I just looked it up and it's the "Ruby" anniversary....hmmm, that would have been nice. Ok, here's the kicker. We've been divorced since 1977, he's been remarried for 30 years (I think), has 2 more kids, and for the past 10 years I've been living 10 min. from them (the ex and his wife). I've spent Easter and Christmas at their house, even went to a local Women's Conference with his wife and of course, we all sit together at the grandkids' school plays, etc. I know, you've heard about these kind of divorces, right? I don't know how rare or common they are these days, but I suppose I prefer it this way rather than not ever communicating.

But I still can't help thinking that if I had stayed married to him, our kids wouldn't have had to experience the divorce and all that insued after that. Also, I wouldn't be sitting here in a mobile home, almost 60 years old with no health insurance, looking into the future all by myself. Wow, does THAT sound sad, huh? hahahahah....I'm just being honest because this comes up EVERY March 18!! The reality of it is that I couldn't have stayed married to him because I was not getting what I needed from him emotionally. He just wasn't able to express his feelings or constantly reassure me how much he loved me. He's also an alcoholic and even though he's what you would call a functioning alcoholic, I never would have made it through the years of him falling asleep drunk with beer every night like his current wife has done.

And now that I've been able to see what my life "would" have been, I'm even more certain that it never would have lasted. He's a good man and a good father/provider and all that, but I never was materialistic so even though I sometimes envy what they have now (the cabin up north, the big house on 5 acres, new cars, etc), I know I would not have been happy. That really is good to know at this age! So even though I might sound like I'm regretting the past, I know it would not have been a good trade off. I AM considering asking him if he wants to become a poligamist since I found out he's taking a job that will move them to Hawaii!

Maybe I should concentrate on regretting my second divorce instead! hahahah...I have until November 22 to start thinking about that one! :)

Let me know if you are sorry about the decisions you made "back then".

Defending my sense of humor

In 10 years I think I have only had one or two negative emails or comments about what I'm trying to do with Minnie Pauz, so I was kind of blown away when I read connie f's post on my March 5 blog post. You can read my response there too, but I don't feel like I said all that I wanted to say, so I was going to say more right now....but....

When I read my title, I realized that I don't have to defend myself except in a court of law, and since no one has sued me for laughing at myself (yet) or for causing them to wet their pants while reading my cartoons, I will hold off on hiring a defense attorney and just keep doing what I've been doing for 10 years...providing Humor Replacement Therapy!!

It's amazing though, how quickly we want to explain our point of view when even one person out of millions (yes, I've had millions of visitors to the website in the last 10 years) complains. We just don't want anyone to not like us or be mad at us. Is that just being a woman or is that from being co-dependant? I'm sure there are many of you that are NOT co-dependant, but how did you get that way? PLEASE tell me how!! I'm reading "Co-dependant No More" by Melody Beattie, so at least I'm aware of the problem, but this issue has brought up a lot of the insecurities I deal with on a daily basis and I want to concentrate on how to overcome the flaws that are holding me back from being all I know I can be! Sounds like I'm wanting to join the Army, doesn't it?

I have had enough positive feedback over the years that should confirm that I'm doing a good thing. You can read lots of it here. That's why I can't understand why one negative post can make me question the value of what I'm doing. (that is connie f's post, btw)

Ok...now that I've talked myself out of defending my sense of humor, what will today's post be about? How about this crazy daylight savings time thing? :)

Does Laura Bush smoke?

In yesterday's Minnie Pauz newsletter, I mentioned that I was not impressed with how our First Lady is promoting women's heart health when she has not been able to kick the smoking habit herself. I got a couple of emails from subscribers who were shocked that she smokes, but one (from Christine) said:

"I do not know who told you about the First lady being a smoker It IS NOT true."

I sent her this response:

Christine, here is where I got my information.....
She says here that she used to smoke.....
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/07/30/laura.bush.interview.cnna/

In this report it says she still sneaks a cigarette with her friends:
http://www.nationalreview.com/interrogatory/kessler200604032246.asp
Laura occasionally sneaks a cigarette with friends. In 1994 and 1995, she totally quit a lifelong smoking habit. When asked by the media, she would honestly say that it was "difficult" to quit. But after 1995, Laura went back to bumming cigarettes from friends, though never in front of George or her staff. At the White House, she might step outside on the Truman Balcony to take a few puffs. At the ranch, she might occasionally light up on the porch.
"She is a stress smoker," said her friend Anne Stewart. "She still bums a cigarette."
"If she is sitting around with some friends and they are smoking, she may smoke," longtime Bush friend Dr. Charles Younger, an orthopedic surgeon, said. "She wouldn't tell you she never does it, but it's not an image she would like to promote as a healthy habit from the First Lady who is supposed to be perfect."

And this exerpt from a book by Ronald Kessler: An Intimate Portrait of the First Lady: Laura Bush:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/05/earlyshow/leisure/books/main1474223.shtml
Even Laura Bush has her vices, such as a smoking habit she can't quite shake. Kessler says the first lady bums a cigarette once in a while: "She goes out on the balcony and smokes a little bit every now and then."

I certainly understand the problem with being addicted to cigarettes, as I mentioned in the newsletter that I'm celebrating 2 years of no smoking, since I smoked at least a pack a day for over 40 years. I was not a national role model and I was able to quit, so I think Laura Bush should completely give it up. THEN she can really put herself out there to tell women how to protect themselves from health problems.

"Mrs. Laura Bush visited Carolinas Medical Center (CMC) on Wednesday, Feb. 15 to raise awareness about heart disease - the number one cause of death of women in America. Mrs. Bush's visit also included meeting patients treated at Carolinas Heart Institute, speaking with doctors and a public presentation in which she outlined simple steps for reducing the risk of heart disease through healthy lifestyles, proper diet, proper exercise and no smoking."

I suppose most of the blame should go to the organizations who are inviting her to speak on women's health. They should choose someone who has beaten the habit and can truly be an inspiration to others (who really do want to quit). Even someone who has survived cancer could give better reasons to stop smoking than someone who just hides their continuing habit. I have no hard feelings for Mrs. Bush, but I don't feel she should be held up as an example in this case.

I try very hard not to preach about smoking since the worst thing in the world (according to smokers) is a reformed smoker. I talk about my success in quitting and about some of the things that helped me quit. It's truly a different world when you're free of this addiction and I encourage everyone (including Laura Bush) to really give it some thought. I have been adding information to this page for two years now. I hope you will find something helpful there!

So let's hear what YOU think!

A sense of humor is "frivolous"?

Here's a bit of interesting news....last month there was a short article in Forbes magazine that mentioned several of the funny businesses that have cropped up because of all the interest in menopause. Yes, of course Minnie Pauz was mentioned, as well as Menopause the Musical and HotFlash the board game, but the main thing that jumped out at me was a comment by Marie Lugano, the founder of the American Menopause Foundation. She said, "....... it's ridiculous and offensive to market such frivolous products, and that the money would be much better spent on menopause research." And...."It's ridiculous. It's offensive. What's next? Prostate Cancer the Musical? A board game about erectile dysfunction? Menopause is a serious health issue. We don't need a musical and a board game, we need more research." What is she hoping to discover, a CURE for a natural process that women go through? In my opinion, we need more research to cure cancer, something that is KILLING women. Of course, HER menopause may be much more severe because she has no sense of humor. Here's a little prayer for Marie and others who think my efforts are useless and "frivolous":

Give us a sense of humor, Lord,
Give us the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.



What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with Marie? Leave your comments.....