Still falling behind...

 But at least I'm not falling!! Oh wait...I DID fall! Story and photos to follow!

Well, here we are nearly at the end of August! I completely misplaced July...in case you didn't notice, I posted in June! :) I have an excuse...it was FREAKING HOT out there! I hope no members here have had any heat related mishaps. I also hope you've not experienced Covid or MonkeyPox! Please check in and let me know you're all doing ok. If you're not we can offer some prayers, cards, virtual hugs, etc.

Ok, so I guess I should tell you about my fall. First let me say that I am SO lucky I didn't break anything. I could possibly have a few fractures, based on the pain I'm still experiencing in a few places, but I didn't go to a doctor at the time. I may ask for a few xrays if I continue to have problems. Strangely enough, it would be my left hand, my right knee and right shoulder. Kind of odd, but so was the fall...

I was out for a morning walk along the creek near my apartment and was looking for the newest baby ducks. I had my cellphone in my left hand (with one of those pop-socket buttons on the back)...like this: 

I can't remember exactly what I did with that hand, but those two fingers are very sore and it's hard to hold things for very long in that hand. For instance, my coffee cup or a shopping bag. Could be just the ligaments or something, but thank goodness my phone didn't break! 

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my beloved camera! It was hanging around my neck and when I fell, the lens part hit the deck and now the lens will not zoom out. The 30x zoom was why I wanted this camera and it was a birthday gift from my son and his family. I'm really bummed about it. I do have an old Sony camera that I've been using, but it just doesn't do the job I want! :(

The reason I fell was because I was paying more attention to finding the ducks than on the dragon sculpture behind me. I will post the pictures (of course!) taken immediately after....with my cellphone. I was very lucky that 3 firemen saw that I didn't get up right away and came to help. 

Ok, so to explain the photos, which are a little mixed up...the first one is the location where "IT" happened. I took the picture from a bridge that goes over the creek (where I always see the ducks). The grey building is the Art Center and the building with the two garage doors is the firehouse. The deck (in the 2nd pic is the home of the evil dragon that tripped me) is just to the right of the grey building.

  

These are the firemen after they made sure I was ok.

These are my injuries...like I said, thank GOD I didn't break anything

One photo I'm not posting here is the huge bruise on my right hip. Also the injury to my right shoulder was not visible, but 1 1/2 mo. later I can finally raise my arm over my head. 

Jeez....all that just to get MORE pics of baby ducks! But, as you can see below, it was well worth it! :) 

So that was why I didn't post a blog in June! Good excuse, huh? 

Oh, and the crooked pinky is from arthritis, not a fall.

I will leave you with this picture of the precious ducks and will try again to post more often. 

 

The Aging Process and Photos

 What do you see when you look in the mirror today? Do you see the aging process as it is or are you shocked that it seems to have come all of a sudden?

A few years ago I was kind of in denial. When I looked at pictures of people the same age as me, I thought they were much older. But today I see that I have caught up with them!

It was this particular picture that made me see how people would could see me as an old person! I was outside for a walk and have my camera hanging on my neck. While I'm glad I'm still able to walk (most days), there's something about this that made me say "yup, I'm an old lady"! Maybe it's the natural light that shows the reality? Maybe it was the "grandma looking" shirt I had on. No, I'm pretty sure it's the wrinkles and creases in my face and neck, and the windblown "un-hairstyle", in addition to the fact that I'm 74! :)

So now I'm trying to be more realistic and "in the moment". I don't really know what that means since I feel like I'm always acting my age and taking advantage of all senior discounts! hahaha!! I'll probably still keep taking selfies to try to get a "good one", but now I'm more aware that what I get is ME at 74. 

It IS fun to use all the filters available though! Some will smooth the face, some will make me even look like a baby, but surprisingly, I really like the one that ages me even more! Anyway, I hope to just be comfortable as I am!

I would love to hear how all of you are handling your age and how you keep yourself feeling the best you can!   ....Dee

Ooops! It's April...

 April Fool's Day is perfect to admit that I forgot to post a blog in March! I did THINK about it a few times in March, but never quite got here to write. So I should have double the news/stories/complaints for this one, right? Well, we shall see...

Actually, everything I have to tell you today would have happened in March, so I will have to post more often this month as things happen. :) As always, I will try!

So today is my Granddaughter's 19th birthday....yup, born on April Fool's Day! She's always been the most photographic child and has just become more beautiful each year! She's like a chameleon...always changing her look! :) 

 

Here's a collage I made showing her "then and now" with her Great-Grandmother, my favorite "peekaboo" picture, and her 1st bday vs last year's 18th cake. :) 

But NOW she has fake eyelashes and hair extensions! It's really hard to accept what we consider fake beauty when it's our own grandchild, but she's old enough to make her own decisions now and those things are the most current trends. Most of us participated in the trends of our generation, so I guess we have to let these "kids" have theirs. She's still my beautiful Claudia! :) Here's her current look!

So! That was my most current issue...the first of many April birthdays! I'm sure we all have certain months like that! Claudia 4/1, my Mom 4/3 (she'll be 92), Grandson Jude 4/6, 2 ex-husbands 4/9 & 4/12 (no, I don't celebrate those), DIL 4/23 and mine 4/27, plus my Niece 4/27...we share our birthday!

So I've been doing watercolor paintings and taking care of my houseplants. These hobbies have really helped with feeling "shut in" for the past 2 years, but I think I would have been fine anyway because I'm a very good hermit! Enjoy my time alone and do my visiting online or on the phone. I'll end this blog with showing you the paintings I did of my Mom's cats....Millie has passed on, but they had her for many years. Miner just wandered onto their deck and then stayed. :) This collage shows the photos I used as reference. Mom loved them!

Until next time...whenever that will be...Happy April!

Dee

 

Falling into the rabbit hole?

Happy February! If you have had (or will have) a birthday this month, I'm sending you soooo many good wishes! This was one of my early Minnie Pauz cartoons. :)

I'm trying to remember what may have been one of my last ones, but it's been so long that I don't think I could figure it out. I do know that it was before 2013, because that was when my hard drive crashed and I lost the programs I had been using for years to finish each cartoon (coloring, etc) AND update my website. Also lost a lot of my photos I had saved that year.

That was when I fell into the rabbit hole of depression and was unable to find the motivation to draw or write a newsletter. At that point I had been doing Minnie Pauz for 15 years, probably longer, but when it crashed I couldn't rev up the energy to draw or learn a new program to put it all back together.

I was 50 when I started Minnie Pauz and 65 when the bottom fell out so that was basically my "middle age". Guess what? I'm 73 now! And even though remnants of Minnie Pauz are still there, (www.minniepauz.com and on Facebook plus this one for those of you who are also seniors), I'm still trying to climb out of the rabbit hole! My life has had many twists and turns like most of yours have, I'm sure. 

At this point I'm realizing (or admitting) that I'm not "middle-aged" any longer! I think I'm accepting being a SENIOR pretty well, but still not able to lift myself totally out of the rabbit hole.

I DO still rely on humor to keep myself climbing up instead of sinking any further down! How about you? What keeps you moving forward? Please use the comments below to share how you do it. I also find a lot of comfort and satisfaction in my hobbies of houseplants, photography and painting.

I'm in a safe and comfortable situation now, with most of my kids & grandkids nearby, with pretty good health (other than T2, psoriatic arthritis and sleep apnea LOL) and good insurance so I decided to try therapy to figure out how to... 

1. Find the Me that I love & admire (so much curiosity & enthusiasm)

2. Manage the regrets from the past (instead of reliving them constantly)

3. Make my kids and grandkids proud of me

Between Covid and Michigan weather, I'm fortunate that I can do online therapy and although I don't think I've found the right one yet, I feel I've taken a step forward in my quest for finding the fresh air and pleasant feelings and thoughts for the rest of my Senior time on earth. :) Could be 20 more years!!!!! My Mom is almost 94!

Next blog... Donating my entire body to science!

Is it Menopause or Old Age? Only 6 months behind schedule!!

 

When I left you last, it was July 2021! Good Heavens, do you think I procrastinate? I think this picture is is good to pull July 2021 together with January 2022!

A lot has happened since my last post, but since I'm trying to get caught up again, I think I will choose my favorite picture from each month, plus a short description.

I quit making New Year resolutions a long time ago. Guess why? Nevermind. I just want you to know that this is proof I don't give up when there's something I really want to do, and I want to do this! So here we go again! :)

This pic is actually July 31, but I'm including it for August since the happiness overflowed when my Daughter married her love! Perfect day, perfect location, perfect match!

Also, youngest Grandson turned 8 and youngest Granddaught turned 4! It's great to still have g-kids this age since the other 6 are from 16-26 now! ♥

In September I really got into painting! Well, I made this collage in Sept. :) One for the wedding, one for the 4 yr. old, one for my oldest Grandson...he worked on a schooner in Maine. The cat belongs to my oldest Granddaughter and was my first attempt at doing an animal. I was quite pleased with it and so was she! The cat has ears in the original. LOL

I have since done a dog and a cat for friends when their pet passed away. :(

So, October brought a shocking event! My middle child turned 50!! (obviously, my first born has already passed that marker so I'm experienced at this! :) 

This was a special birthday considering there were several years of addiction that made me wonder if he would even make it to this stage of his life. I'm so happy to report that he's in recovery, married 2 years to a wonderful woman and stepfather to a darling 4 yr. old girl...my 8th grandchild!!

"On November 30, 2021, a mass shooting occurred at Oxford High School in the Detroit exurb of Oxford Township, Michigan, United States. Four students were killed and 7 others were injured, including 1 teacher"

Thank GOD they had a normal Thanksgiving with their children, but unfortunately for those four families it will be remembered as their last normal Thanksgiving. A tragedy for our community that will never be forgotten. :(

 

I thought the least I could do was show my face in December! :) I had to push myself to smile because for the entire month, I kept thinking of the families who would probably never celebrate the holidays with joy ever again.

I was so aware of how blessed I am that I have my kids and grandkids in my life! Even with covid, there was a LOT of hugging going on this year! You can't stay 6 ft. away and touch elbows after you've seen how young lives can be cut short like this!

So here we are at the end of January You do know I'm in Michigan, right?) and I'm just getting caught up! That's ok, right? It's not how many times you fall (or fail), it's how many times you get back up and try again! 

I have a new year to try to fill with interesting and compelling posts that will not only bring you love and laughter, but will also help me to challenge myself to make the changes I need to be a better me!

Although I said I don't make New Year resolutions, I do plan on bringing all my MinniePauz pages back to life. That includes www.minniepauz.com as well as the Facebook Minnie Pauz and the AFTER the PAUSE with Minnie Pauz (for those of us who are living the life after menopause!). I just found out that my website has been down for awhile. :(  GoDaddy is trying to figure out why it's down, but that is why I want to get things going again. 

Please join me on the Facebook pages! Today (1-28-22) I will be doing my very first FB Live! Should be a riot since I'll be talking to myself and answering questions that viewers post... I HOPE!! hahahah....join me at 1pm Eastern!

Thank you to those of you who hang around and I would love to get a few comments on this blog. It has gone from being about Menopause and Minniepauz cartoons to being a middle-aged woman and now...??? I need your imput! Ok, I'm off to play Wordle for today! :)

What is courage to you?

The title of this post sounds like it might be very deep, doesn't it? Well, it's actually not...in fact, it was born of pretty shallow thoughts.

I decided to publish my newest watercolor paintings and that takes courage! LOL! I've shown a few in a private FB group that has all levels of watercolor artists, and I've shown a few friends, but to me this is the next step. I think I'm only brave here because not many are following my blog. :)

So here goes... on my birthday this past April, my daughter gave me something I had been wanting for a long time...watercolor supplies!

It took me awhile to actually put any paint on paper, but after rearranging my "studio" space (my kitchen table) 

and watching many "beginner" how-to watercolor videos, 

I gave myself permission to play instead of expecting something professional to flow out of my brush! 

I learned to tape my paper down and how to blend the colors and I started getting more brave as I realized it was just paper and I could always start over if I felt I messed up. It was very exciting to feel frustration being replaced by enjoyment! I have a new hobby! :) 

Once I was feeling more confident I started getting ideas of everything I wanted to paint! First of all was a wedding gift for my daughter and her fiance...I knew I wanted to do a sunflower for her and since he is a lineman (electrical), I went looking for ideas for him. It took me 2 months, but I was happy with the results! And they were amazed! :)

 So, today I am feeling brave about showing my work online! I'm working on more paintings that I can't show until they are gifted, but I'm happy to break the ice about being courageous even about small things!

I also want to mention that I'm meeting many women around my age who are doing something for the first time and I want to enCOURAGE them to step out of their comfort zones and be proud of their efforts!

A little late re my promise...

 ...but, then again, it's never too late! Of course I'm talking about my promise to post every day...oops! Do we always put a guilt trip on ourselves when we don't keep a promise? Probably, even though this was not a live or die promise, I still kept reminding myself of what I "should" do. I have so many excuses even though I don't have to answer to anyone except myself. Here I am today so, to me I'm back on track! :)

Since my last post I have been painting and fighting with fungus gnats! Hahaha...quite a busy schedule, as you can imagine! :) They might not sound related, but one of those gnats literally landed on a freshly painted picture and it was all I could do not to smash the little "f***er"! That is how much rage they bring to my day!

My houseplants are my sanity, as well as my pride and joy for the past year and a half, and I went almost that full time without gnats (different from fruit flies). These buggers love moist dirt. To make a long story short, mine arrived in a new bag of medium made specifically for cactus & other plants that need quick draining. I transplanted a succulent arrangement that I got for my birthday. I didn't notice the gnats until I had already filled that planter AND put some into my other plants! :(

 

Naturally, I went to google and to my houseplant group and tried all the tips they gave me. It's gotten better but dealing with them is very frustrating! :)

So this is my catch-up day and hopefully, I'll be here tomorrow to chat about something more pleasant than fungus gnats!! LOL

Today's priority was ....

 I spent the entire day concentrating on practicing my watercoloring! I watched several videos on youtube (so nice to be able to watch on my tv instead of the computer) and I found a new artist to follow--Peter Sheeler from Canada.

Love his work! He uses ink to sketch first and then very loose watercolor strokes for background or the illusion of something. Today I watched him paint this mailbox. He doesn't chatter while painting and I like that also...just some gentle music. :)

Here's an article about him from the UK and of course you can do a google search to see all his images and more: 

https://bluedoorworkshop.co.uk/about-peter/

So that was my day and now I have to keep my promise and post one of my own photos that will imply what my priority was today.

 

 Tomorrow....houseplants! :)

Priorities...hard to figure them out!

The title refers to this blog...I'm still trying to figure out what my priorities are here! To be so indecisive is exhauting! And I'm still not sure how many people are reading it. 

Those who ARE reading it are not commenting so that makes me believe I'm not being interesting, profound or even mildly worthy. :) Ok, I'm feeling sorry for myself now...it's my own fault. I know very well that if I promote the blog (via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram), I would get new followers...BUT, I feel that I need to have a clear perspective and for now, I'm still all over the place.

I've been procrastinating about posting this month, as I have for years, and it's always about how open do I want to be, how personal, how funny, how serious. I decided today that I want to show either my photography or my watercolor projects. 

Believe it or not, I just gave myself another idea! What if, until I figure out my priorities here, I just post at least one photo each day for the rest of the month? Each day the photo should represent something about that day--be it an emotion, an activity, a disappointment or a joy. I like it!! I will post at the end of the day and it could be one photo or maybe a collage to express that day. :) 

In case you're wondering about the watercolor projects...don't think I'm ready to show them yet, but soon!

I hope I can remember to do this each day. And since today is just starting, the only thing I can think of is the sun coming out from behind the clouds! :)

Here's to figuring out your priorities one day at a time!

 Happy Birthday to me! :)

These birthdays seem to be coming faster and faster! Could have sworn I just had one! This is #73, but don't really feel that old. 

I wrote that on the 27th of April...didn't get very far. My daughter and her Fiance took me to dinner and gave me some lovely gifts - watercolor supplies!

Now it is the 9th of May...Mother's Day and I'm trying again! :) It's cold (45°) here in Michigan with possibly some rain and I will be home watching and waiting for the Cardinal babies to hatch outside my bedroom window.

 

They've been a joy to watch, even though pictures are through window and screen most of the time! :)

So, with birdwatching, photography, learning to paint with watercolors and taking care of my houseplants, I really haven't felt bored or "closed in" after more than a year of the pandemic. 

The next chapter

Whew! I almost let March pass by without a post! Mostly because I was going to continue with my description of my life from the youngest I could remember (age 3), hence the title of this post. But something has kept me from sticking with that idea...for now. I'm not sure if it's laziness, procrastination, fear or what!

I'm still struggling with finding my authentic voice and deciding how open I'm going to be and who I'm willing to share it with. I'm totally comfortable with sharing with people I don't know, but not with family or most friends. It seems kind of ridiculous to think people would be interested in my private life, so why do I keep posting and publishing here? Part of it is because I love to write and since I threw my 22-yrs' worth of journals away (in 2012), I still have the desire to write.

So, I will try to stay focused and keep posting, even if it's short like this one. :) For now, I will share another moonshot that I just took...the one above was taken March 3 and this one March 20...

I really hope to find out who is reading and who is interested in staying connected even if you don't want to post replies.

Just let me know, ok?

 

I woke up at 3:45 this morning on the tail-end of a dream and then the "almost conscious" waking up time and decided I HAVE to write a book! I've had so many people tell me that over the years, but have always said I don't want to relive most of it so why would I write it all down? Now I'm thinking that this blog may be as close as I come to writing my life story...and I have pictures! 

The problem is I'm still not willing and able to put it all out there and then actually tell people where they can read it. Maybe I'm afraid of being judged. That sounds logical.

I've got one younger picture, but can't find it at the moment. I don't remember anything from this age...

  

I was about 2 in this photo with my paternal grandmother and although I don't remember her, I have distinct memories of the house!And I have inherited her chin(s)! :)

 I have a memory of being taken away from my mother at age 3 and although I've been told what it was about, my father and his new wife got custody of my sister and I for a short time, I have no memories of that time period. I do have some pictures and even that does not trigger any concious memory of him or her. 

Ok, this is the beginning of my timeline...mostly to get my life in order for ME.  More to come soon. :)

First month of 2021 in the bag...

 So! I'm doing great for this year...I will definitely keep up with posting this time! I will also be showing photos I have taken. This Wood Duck was a huge surprise in the creek behind my apartment! First time I ever saw one in person!

We still have so much going on in the world with politics and the pandemic, so I shouldn't have any trouble finding a topic!

I do hope to engage with other people who have something to say, whether it is about general issues or something personal. I keep thoughts and feelings about most things very close to the chest, but all it takes is finding someone who wants or needs to talk about something and I'm ready to open up. 

Ok, I'll try something new...asking you what you think.

1. Have you lost relationships (family or friends) because of your political beliefs?

2. Do you have a favorite recipe that everyone raves about?

3. What kind of traditions have you created with your grandchildren (or children)?

4. How are you dealing with the Covid-19 situation? Are you getting the vaccine?

So there we go...a starting place! :) Choose to answer one or all and even ask your own question for us! 

See you next month! ♥ Dee

 Still watching all the fallout from the events at the Capitol last week. I'm glad to see that they are finding many of the people (who were so proud to be on video or in photos). It's so hard to believe this has all happened in our country. And then the President was impeached for the second time. Holy smokes!

I just pray that no one else is hurt or killed as we go through the inauguration of a new President and Vice-President. It should be an exciting time for the nation, but will be tempered with concern and worry and stress for many. 

So what else is going on in your world? Crazy weather? Weight gain? Missing the grandkids? Hmmm...I just mentioned some of MY issues. 

The biggest (literally) for me right now is the weight. I keep trying to get back to doing what I KNOW works for me (low carb), but this addiction to sweets is hard to switch off!

I'm starting to resemble a certain cartoon character!!

Hoping to see some comments soon :) 

 

How quickly things change in the world...

 So, this is the day after the White House was overrun, defaced and basically, rendered shutdown for several hours. I haven't been able to write about it on social media at all, but here I feel safe.

On one hand, I feel disturbed and unsettled after watching the entire event from beginning to end. I could stop watching until I couldn't keep my eyes open. On the other hand, I feel confident that our world will right itself eventually. It just takes longer than usual for some people to draw the line as to what they will accept. 

I will be happy to discuss everything with you, if anyone decides they would like to post here. I still haven't put out a notice that this blog is "open for business". I'm such a chicken, but I may just do it today.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this and hope to hear from you soon. I would like to find out how you feel about our country after all that's happened this year.

To continue catching up...

I'm going to get caught up on a few more things about the past year, and then I'm going to try to get some of my followers back here and find out what everyone wants to talk about. It can't be just about me and there's a huge gap between where I started (Minnie Pauz) and where I am now.

One of biggest changes in my life since I moved back to Michigan is the wonderful addition of a granddaughter and a daughter-in-law! That was great since the boys were outnumbering us girls quite heavily! :) So, NOW we are even! (At least counting the adults with the kids) :) Still have 5 grandsons and 3 granddaughters! (this picture was 5 yrs ago)

So meet Miss Lucy Grace! I just love her name and she is a sweetheart as you can see! Her Momma married my son in Nov. 2019 and I was so happy to be there! They have just passed their 1 year anniversary and Lucy is going to be 4 in August. She loves to read and play the ukelele and have tea parties!

Now we are on to whatever comes to mind, not just for me but for you also. I hope to hear from many of you about what your life is like and what issues seem to crop up most often...the good and the bad. As I mentioned, I will be tracking you down one by one and dragging you over here to help this blog come alive again! :) For now this is my second post in only 4 days so you can imagine how exhausted I am! LOL!! Hope to hear from you soon! Dee